I am married to the single greatest woman on this planet. There is no way I could do what I do without her understanding, support and unconditional love. I always knew that I would choose entrepreneurship as my “career”. Most of the girls I dated somewhat seriously were a little bit frightened by the fact that I didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer. Most of their parents were scared stiff! The combination made me quickly realize that my soulmate would be someone that would embrace my unique plan to make a living. Of course their are many other reasons that I married my wife – most of which are more important and personal than simply being willing to handle some ambiguity in my career path. At the risk of sounding a bit corny, I did marry my best friend. We have a lot of fun together. I could live without my work or my company. I can’t say the same about her. All of this has a point. If you are an unmarried entrepreneur you should take some real time in selecting your partner! Due diligence is an understatement here. The following are a few characteristics you might want to look for or look out for in a potential spouse if you plan to be an entrepreneur:
1 – They aren’t scared by financial instability. Have they ever experienced it themselves? Do they always have to have the latest of everything? In other words, if you are a boot strapping entrepreneur, can they handle it?
2 – Can they be supportive of demanding hours, particularly in the early years? I think a successful entrepreneur is one that puts their time in and makes the necessary sacrifices, but along the way they shift the balance of their time towards their spouse and family. If you plan to be happily married, you have to successfully make this transition. Can your spouse handle this time line though?
3 – How high is their risk tolerance/aversion? Sometimes opposites attract and a low-risk spouse can be a good counter balance to a gun-slinging entrepreneur. I think this is probably somewhat unique though. For the most part, a spouse that is comfortable with some degree of risk will be a better fit for you.
Most entrepreneurs don’t give their marriage the time and attention it deserves. I am not proud to admit this, but I am absolutely guilty of this myself. The work is who we are – and it consumes us and sometimes leaves room for little else. Our marriages can suffer and end as a result. Unfortunately, this a sad and frequent byproduct of entrepreneurship. We are hard to live with in a lot of ways. Again, I know that I am guilty of all of the above. It is tough! The hours we keep, the ups and downs in our financial status, and the constant workload can make for a rather unrewarding marriage if that is all we have to offer. The key is to work hard and play hard! As the years go by, and your energy level wanes, the balance of your time should move towards your spouse, not your company. I think this is where a lot of entrepreneurs and their marriages take a turn for the worst. I am right in the middle of this myself and should definitely listen to my own advice. I fully expect to work my butt off for awhile – and you should too. I do not expect to be working this hard 10 years from now. I am not going to become a lazy or disinterested person – I simply will have figured out how to run my companies in a 40 hour work week!
On a more positive note, hopefully we can all have a marriage that will grow stronger and more fulfilling each year. We will have found professional success and have realized the fruits that go along with that. Then we get to share them, year after year, with our best friend that has patiently waded through the swamp with you! I would imagine few othing could be more rewarding. I work every day of my life with this image in my mind. I am consumed with what I do – but I continually plan my goals in accordance with a life centered around my spouse and family.
In other words, if I am blogging frequently in 10 years about the multitude of businesses I own and am working on, then I have failed.
Jun
26
Alex on June 26th, 2009
This is an older post that I wanted to revive to see what has changed, where I have changed and what my Twitter friends might add to the conversation.
I was thinking tonight about the things I use and do regularly that have had a positive impact on my career as a self-made entrepreneur. Some of them are quirky (like me) and some of them are common (like me sometimes as well), but all of them are critical to who Alex is as an entrepreneur. Please add a comment with things you consider a “must” for business and if I agree, I will add them to my list for all to read. I want to see what I am missing out there because I know that I am indeed missing out on a lot. With that in mind, here is the beginnings of a list of things and activities that I will randomly update as you comment and as I think of more. Keep in mind this list is in no particular order of importance, so #1 doesn’t do more or less for me then #100.
- Iphone 3GS (32GB) – this device has saved me about an hour a day. I pay $5.00 a month to share an exchange server and therefore have all of my emails, calendar items, contacts and tasks wireless synced live and in real time. This is huge for me as I can read, answer and delete (or just read and delete) emails and have them gone when I get to my home or office. Huge. It also provides a meticulous level of detail for my contacts (nearly 2,000), my calendar (stuffed full every day nearly) and my tasks (always getting longer and shorter). Don’t even get me started on the app store. I have about 30 apps on my phone that I use for all parts of my business and personal life. There are a few things I would like to see, but still, hands down it is the superior choice for the mobile professional and you would have to pry it from my cold, dead hands to get it away from me.
- My MacBook Pro – I cannot tell you how many times it has helped me to have all of my information mobile and ready. I do not have a computer at home, nor do I have one at the office. I use my laptop exclusively and therefore I back up the data daily. With my iPhone I find myself using my laptop less, but again, I could not operate as efficiently as I need to without this mobile powerhouse. I dropped Windows completely over a year ago and will never, ever go back. I dropped it cold turkey too. No parallels running windows – nothing. I couldn’t be happier with my decision to do so and wish I had done it sooner!
- High Speed Internet – Believe it or not there are still business people that don’t use high speed. First of all, thanks for driving your station wagon in the fast lane while we are trying to get by. I have had the occassion to deal with someone who is not on a high speed connection when trying to transfer business documents that were a bit large, and let me tell you, I damn near paid the bill myself to get their high speed installed. You will save much more time then the cost of the service. I know that the younger generation doesn’t generally suffer from this, but their are probably a few more dial-up customers reading this then they would care to admit.
- Internet Bill Pay (personal bills) – I honestly have not written a personal check in probably close to three years. Maybe more. Other then the cost of stamps and envelopes (as well as checks for that matter), you save a lot of time by automating your bill pay process. I pay family and friends thru bill pay – it doesn’t really matter, if I can pay it that way, I will.
- Daily Newspaper (via iPhone or Amazon Kindle) – I say this a lot when speaking to groups and I will say it again. Be well read! Don’t just read books either. They contain historical accounts, which is incredibly important. However, they do not bring forth the data of the moment. Being a good conversationalist (a key to raising capital) is always easier when you are well informed and up to date on what is happening today. I read 4 – 5 online business sections every day, seven days a week. I also get a daily email from a few business magazines that I always read in their entirety. I have about 8 books on my Kindle right now and rotate between each of them. The lamo that I am, all of them are on business – but one is about golf. What variety!
- I am an active user on Twitter. Often times it is better then email or a phone call because I can send a quick thought/question that I know will be replied to with a short response. I chat with a lot of interesting people in short bursts and it saves both of us time. We chat about a variety of things, including those unrelated to our work – but mostly work related. I am convinced that it helps them get to know me better and feel like we have a stronger personal relationship. It doesn’t take the place of phone calls and in-person meetings, but it certainly can replace a few of those now and again. I wrote a previous blog post here about how I use Twitter specifically if you are interested.
- RSS Feed and Google Alerts – I get a few Google Alerts and RSS Feed updates every day and I almost always read them (usually on my iPhone 3gS- and no, I am not a paid advertiser of their product although you may be starting to think so) within a few minutes of their receipt. I am an “information junkie” as one of my friends likes to say and this helps feed the need to always be current. I learn a lot too!
- Neurobiological Refreshment – How often do you get sleepy about 2pm? You know, when you can barely keep your eyes open and your head is bobbing while you pretend to be reading something on your screen as people walk by? It happens to most of us. My Dad is a real genius when it comes to figuring how to get the most out of life. He has been preaching the 20 minute nap for the last 25 years, well before it was “cool” to do so. He calls it “neurobioligical refreshment”. I love that term. Anyhow, I have a couch in my office. I try to take one every day. I am about 50% successful right now and that sucks. I am robbing myself, my company, my employees and my partners of my very best because I can’t discipline myself to do this. The key is 20 minutes, no longer nor shorter. When I do it, I feel so great afterwards! It is like the start of a new day and I am so much more efficient and aware for the remainder of the day. This is exactly why I should do it every day, it is good for me as well as good for the ideas and decisions that lay ahead during the remainder of the day.
- Good Luggage – I have always had crappy, old, mix-and-match luggage that was likely purchased at Gart Sports and resembles a duffle bag. I have started to travel more now for business and pleasure. As such, I decided it was time to look at some “real” luggage for my wife and I. It was a hard pill for me to swallow when looking at the prices of quality luggage. They can be expensive! However, after spending the money on some Tumi luggage pieces I can honestly say they have paid for themselves in the time and trouble they have saved thus far. Not to mention they will last us a lifetime and they look pretty cool.
- Credit Card Float For Rewards – The credit card companies hate me. Although I carry a balance now and again with some of our businesses, for the most part I pay my balance off in full every month. I charge everything I can get my hands on in the meantime. If you are disciplined and can only spend what you know you can pay off, then a good rewards credit card can get you a lot. Many a plane ticket has been bought for me using miles from my card rewards. It is “free money” and again, if you can use some personal discipline then you can really take advantage of the system. Isn’t that what entrepreneurship is about some of the time, tweaking the system in your favor?
- A Very High Quality, Oversized Monitor (preferably flat panel) – So how many hours a day do you stare at a computer screen? So why not do yourself a favor and get something that is easy to look at and holds a lot of data. I plug my laptop into one at the office everyday and I am convinced that my eyes are less fatigued and my brain is fresher with a larger flat panel monitor. Again, this has likely paid for itself as do many items on this list. The better my eyes pick something up, and the less difficult time my brain has deciphering things, the more likely I am to effectively utilize what is on the screen. Based on my previous note, it should be obvious that it is connected to my laptop at home and at work since my laptop is my only computer.
- Eating Lunch With New People – I realize that their are a number of books on this subject (isn’t there one called “Never Eat Lunch Alone” or something like that?) and that I am not really blazing much of a trail here. In fact, many if not most of the items on this list are somewhat un-trailblaizing-ish (I like that word). However, just because they aren’t new or ground breaking doesn’t mean they aren’t damned important. I really try to schedule a lot of lunches with a lot of different people. It is a great way to have a meeting (golf is the best way in my opinion – so if you ever really want to pick my brain, take me golfing) in a relaxed setting while accomplishing two things at one – eating and talking. I love to multi-task and eat. if you see the picture on the homepage, it is immediately clear that I like to injest a lot of food. All kidding aside, not too many people are consistently too busy to eat, so over time, you should be able to get just about anyone to go to lunch with you.
- A Bluetooth Headset or in-car bluetooth – I use about 5,000 minutes a month on my cell phone. FYI – according to my cellular provider, I also sent and received a total of 2,700+ emails during the month of May 2009. As you can see, my iPhone gets used a lot. Thanks to a bluetooth enabled vehicle (and prior to that, an awesome jawbone headset), you and I are still alive and kicking with me driving on the road. I was a danger to society while driving prior to my bluetooth-ization. I would eat, have the phone on my shoulder and drive with my knees steering the car. Often times this was done at well beyond freeway speeds. With my bluetooth enabled vehicle I am glad to say that I can now drive dangerously in peace – look Mom, no knees!
- Working out – I have made a commitment recently to getting my mind and body in better shape. I ran a marathon in this month! I have some bad genetics in the personal health category and recently have used that information as motivation to get my fat butt in shape. Although I have quite a ways to go, I am getting there. I am really trying to be as balanced as I say YOU should be and getting a good, hard workout in is one of the ways I hope to help accomplish this. Get fit, get healthy, and your business and your life will benefit from it.
- DVR – I cannot live without this service. Although I don’t use the Tivo brand as a comcast customer, the technology itself is something I can’t see myself going without it. After only a few days of first using this service a few years ago, I found myself trying to Tivo forward/rewind certain radio stations and even with tv sets in restaurants out of habit. I can honestly say that I would only watch the news and Jay Leno on occassion if it weren’t for DVR. There are 2 or 3 good shows on TV that I would not shut my life down for, but that I can watch on DVR at a convenient time. Incidentally, the three shows that I watch regularly are 24, Lost, 30 Rock, The Office and Prison Break. I also blow thru a frew reality shows now and again.
- Anything Wireless (Keyboard, Mouse, Sync, Headset, Internet, Etc.) – I hate wires almost as bad as I hate paper. In fact, I would have a hard time choosing which one I would rather get rid of more. Wires clutter my desk like papers do and I hate clutter. So, any chance I have to get a document in .pdf form is equally as important to me as any item that comes in a wireless version. I have a vision of a laptop that charges itself from my body heat so I don’t have to plug it in. I want toothbrush, razor, cell phone, Ipod, playstation controller and anything else electronic to be wireless like my keyboard and mouse on my desk. Being highly organized is helpful when you are a busy entrepreneur with a lot of different things going on, and wires get in the way of that.
- Investing monthly starting at a young age – How many of you are under the age of 30 and have a monthly amount automatically deducted from your bank account and put into an investment account? If any of you under 30 aren’t doing this, start now! The concept of compounding interest is your friend the younger you are. I read a book at about 20 years old that convinced me to start automatically investing $100 from my bank account each month into an investment account. The reason it convinced me is because of the fact that if I started at 20 years old, it would end up at something like $3M dollars at 65 years old (assuming the stock market provided an average annual return over this period of time of 12%). If I started at 30 it was less then $1M. I want $3M at retirement, not less then $1M, so I started and haven’t stopped. It was not easy to get going since I worked in retail and didn’t have much money. I stuck with it though, and guess what, it is working! Get on it youngsters, time is on your side. If you are over 30 you are pretty much screwed so you might as well run up your credit cards and live beyond your means. Kidding of course! Just double the monthly amount to catch up…just do something! Entrepreneurs often don’t get the retirement account benefits of corporate America, so do yourself a favor and start your own retirement account now. And with the current market taking a beating, there has never been a better time to get some great deals!
- A Hobby – preferably golf – If you are an entrepreneur then balance is one of the biggest struggles you have in life. How do you work enough to build your company but not so much that you are a crappy dad or a bad friend. It is really tough to figure that out and it is a constant struggle to do so. I firmly believe that you will be a better entrepreneur, father, friend and otherwise if you allow yourself a hobby. Notice I said “a” hobby. I don’t think you can really do all things well, so try to pick one thing you really like and immerse yourself in it. My wife and daughter picked me up at the office the other day and I was kind of stressed. We went out to a driving range and they watched me hit balls for about an hour. My wife commented when we were driving away that she could see the stress leave my personality with each ball that I hit. She noted that the rest of the day I was my fun, happy self whereas when they picked me up I was a bit sour. A good hobby will help relieve stress, hopefully get you some exercise and will make you a more agreeable person to be around. I really think that if you snowboard, play golf, ride mountain bikes, paint and do origami all while kicking ass as an entrepreneur and a good father/mother then you are my hero. I can only play golf…
These were as comments on my old blog from my friend Jake. They are great, I totally agree and appreciate the additions:
- Firefox – What would I do without Firefox? I research business concepts and technical projects constantly. In the dark ages when I had to use Internet Exploder, that meant I’d have lots of IE windows open on my PC and lots of popups, too. Firefox allows me to open web pages in tabs so that I can have it all on one window. And it automatically blocks popups. And it’s not vulnerable to almost all of the spyware and viruses that IE can infect you with. And it’s free! It’s just all-around warm and fuzzy. And did I mention it’s free?
- A USB Flash Drive: I carry my critical files around in my pocket, on a 2GB USB flash drive. I also have a version of Firefox (link is to Portable Firefox) on it that runs on any PC without having to be installed on that PC, and it moves my favorites and cookies around with it, instead of leaving them on the PC (Did I mention it’s free?). Very handy.
- A Leatherman – I’m a guy who carries a knife wherever he goes. I don’t fly much, so it’s usually not an issue from a security standpoint. I don’t like to see something broken, wherever I am. Broken things bother me. So I fix them whenever I can, and that usually involves my Leatherman’s pliers, screwdriver, or blades. Don’t leave home without your knife.
My wife and I enjoy (DVR style) the show Run’s House on MTV. Reverend Run is the Run from Run DMC, perhaps the greatest rap group of all time. I suppose it is one of the little idiosyncrasies of my personality that I like a show like this, and that I loved rap back when Run DMC was King. Anyhow, I get a daily email from the good Reverend, and often times they are pearls of wisdom. Today was one of those, at least for me:
“Try not to compare yourself to others as a measurement of your performance or feelings of success. If you do, you will have bought into the erroneous idea that you will, in some way, be better and HAPPIER when you are ahead of someone else. GOD IS LOVE.” -Rev Run
I am guilty of this as much or more as the next guy or girl. Are you?
