2 – Can they be supportive of demanding hours, particularly in the early years? I think a successful entrepreneur is one that puts their time in and makes the necessary sacrifices, but along the way they shift the balance of their time towards their spouse and family. If you plan to be happily married, you have to successfully make this transition. Can your spouse handle this time line though?
3 – How high is their risk tolerance/aversion? Sometimes opposites attract and a low-risk spouse can be a good counter balance to a gun-slinging entrepreneur. I think this is probably somewhat unique though. For the most part, a spouse that is comfortable with some degree of risk will be a better fit for you.
Most entrepreneurs don’t give their marriage the time and attention it deserves. I am not proud to admit this, but I am absolutely guilty of this myself. The work is who we are – and it consumes us and sometimes leaves room for little else. Our marriages can suffer and end as a result. Unfortunately, this a sad and frequent byproduct of entrepreneurship. We are hard to live with in a lot of ways. Again, I know that I am guilty of all of the above. It is tough! The hours we keep, the ups and downs in our financial status, and the constant workload can make for a rather unrewarding marriage if that is all we have to offer. The key is to work hard and play hard! As the years go by, and your energy level wanes, the balance of your time should move towards your spouse, not your company. I think this is where a lot of entrepreneurs and their marriages take a turn for the worst. I am right in the middle of this myself and should definitely listen to my own advice. I fully expect to work my butt off for awhile – and you should too. I do not expect to be working this hard 10 years from now. I am not going to become a lazy or disinterested person – I simply will have figured out how to run my companies in a 40 hour work week!
On a more positive note, hopefully we can all have a marriage that will grow stronger and more fulfilling each year. We will have found professional success and have realized the fruits that go along with that. Then we get to share them, year after year, with our best friend that has patiently waded through the swamp with you! I would imagine few othing could be more rewarding. I work every day of my life with this image in my mind. I am consumed with what I do – but I continually plan my goals in accordance with a life centered around my spouse and family.
In other words, if I am blogging frequently in 10 years about the multitude of businesses I own and am working on, then I have failed.
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I agree, being a entrepreneur myself as is my husband in two totally different kinds of business, we support and love and have alot of trust and faith in each other. I think your blog was wonderful.
Seriously, some days I think you are in my head! My husband is always forwarding your posts along to me, probably because he finds it as humorous as I do how dead-on you tend to be.
I am constantly telling my husband how lucky we are that we found each other, because I don’t think anyone else would put up with us, none the less enjoy this crazy ride! And yes, I am guilty of all those things mentioned above, as is my husband. Often, my marriage is put to the side to make way for business. As an entrepreneur, the to-do list is always too long, and I personally am easily distracted by the urgent tasks, as opposed to the important tasks.
It is just nice to know that through all of the craziness, the instability, the risk, and hopefully the reward, that I have a partner by my side. As entrepreneurs, I feel like we are often misunderstood. Friends are a bit difficult to come by, as they just can’t relate. As a entrepreneurial mom, it throws in an extra challenge. But, no matter what, I know my husband will be there to support me. He will stay up countless hours to do our accounting. He will be there to inventory all of the damaged products that arrived from the factory two months late. He will be there to celebrate with me when we hit our first $100,000 month. He will be there to help me pack up the thousands of orders when we finally get on Oprah! He will also be there with me when we finally get to go out on the lake to hang out with our daughter. Balance is key, support is necessary.
Crack on, my friend.
“…what can be more rewarding than to share the fruit of our labor with the one who waded the swamp with me.”
Brings tears to my eyes. Your blog’s get forwarded to my wife a lot.
Thanks.
Wow . . .
Yes, I’m only 24. Entrepreneurship and science are central to my life right now and I’m totally broke. I keep telling myself to hold off for the right girl who can handle my chaotic lifestyle. Sometimes it seems impossible, like I should just “hook up” with whoever finds me “sexy” enough.
Thanks for the reminder. That is totally not what i want or need. I need the woman who can ride this rollercoaster without throwing up! Maybe I will be so lucky as some of your respondents and find myself a nice entrepreneurial girl with her own rollercoaster for me to deal with, then we can find some middle ground balance and live happily ever after like my grandparents.
Just so long as I never make the mistake of comparing her to my grandmother!!! LOL!!!
I’m so glad I tried twitter and got your follow. You’re a major influence in my life now.
Thanks.
I too am guilty of all the above- though, I married the most wonderful man on the planet. Glad to have met you on Twitter- this looks as an interesting read! I agree with Amber: balance is the key, though maintaining it is the hard part, different times in business sometimes call for different levels of commitment… In either case: we’re fortunate!
Excellent site, keep up the good work